


Fail

by AutisticWriter



Category: Harry & Paul (TV)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Bickering, Disabled Character, Dragon's Den, Epic Fail, Flirting, Gay Male Character, Mostly Gen, Multi, Narcolepsy, One Shot, Parody, Screenplay/Script Format, Silly, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-28
Updated: 2016-10-28
Packaged: 2018-08-27 12:58:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8402602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AutisticWriter/pseuds/AutisticWriter
Summary: Ken and Bryan present a very useful and personal invention to the Dragons. But, as usual, there a flaw to their product.





	

_Ken and Bryan walk up the stairs, Ken carrying a cardboard box._

**Evan** : _(V/O) Next cam Ken and Bryan, from Brian Farnet, with an ingenious medical device._

_Ken and Bryan enter the studio. James, Duncan, the Grumpy Woman, Theo and Peter look at them, none of them appearing remotely impressed. Ken and Bryan stop in front of a table, which Ken places the box on. Ken looks extremely nervous; Bryan looks excited._

**Ken** : Hello, Dragons. My name is Ken, and this is my partner Bryan.

**Bryan** : Hello.

**Ken** : And we’re here to show you our invention, which we hope will make day to day life a lot simpler for people with narcolepsy.

_The Dragon’s look intrigued, even Duncan. James is stroking his beard._

**Bryan** : Now, for those of you who don’t know, narcolepsy is a neurological disorder which causes sleep disturbances. It is best known for causing ‘sleep attacks’, which cause the person to suddenly fall into a deep sleep. It is often accompanied by something called cataplexy, which means your muscles suddenly relax when you experience a strong emotion, usually laughter. Both of these issues mean—

_Bryan stops talking abruptly. His eyes close, his legs give way, and he collapses. Ken grabs his head and lowers him carefully to the floor. Ken looks stressed; there are sweat marks under his arms._

**Evan** : _(V/O) There’s a problem. Bryan has collapsed._

_The Dragons all look alarmed; Theo and James are out of their seats and staring at Bryan, who is lying on the floor, apparently asleep._

**Grumpy Woman** : Is he all right?

**Theo** : Is there anything wrong?

**Ken** : No, no, he’s just having a sleep attack. He’ll wake up in a minute or so.

**Duncan** : Is _he_ narcoleptic?

**Ken** : ( _Nodding_ ) Yeah, he is.

**James** : So, you don’t need any help?

**Ken** : I don’t think so, no.

**James** : Even though I’m the lovely one?

**Duncan** : No he doesn’t! Sit back down!

_Duncan glares at James, and James glares back. He and Theo sit back down, and everyone sits in an awkward silence until Bryan wakes up. When he does, he sits up slowly, rubbing his eyes. He looks exhausted._

**Peter** : Are you all right?

**Bryan** : ( _Weakly_ ) I think so.

_Ken helps Bryan to his feet. Bryan yawns and leans backwards against the table._

**Bryan** : Right, where were we?

**Theo** : Are you just gone to pretend that nothing has just happening?

**Bryan** : ( _Shrugging_ ) It happens all the time. It’s just easier for us if we carry on like it didn’t happen.

_Bryan and Ken look at each other. Ken nods._

**Bryan** : Right, so, what I was saying before that happened was that these conditions can be very dangerous for the person. If they don’t have someone ( _He puts his hand on Ken’s shoulder_ ) to catch them, they will bang their head, which, obviously can cause brain injuries.

**Ken** : So, going from our own personal experience, we’ve decided to invent a product that will help people with narcolepsy be more independent, and also reduce the risk of them hurting themselves. So this is our invention: The Narcolepsy Head Protector.

_Bryan opens the box and holds up the helmet. It appears to be made of green foam, and has a chin strap._

**Bryan** : It doesn’t have the most attractive appearance, but it is very good at preventing head injuries.

_Bryan puts the helmet onto his head and fastens the strap. It makes him look ridiculous, and Theo and Peter both suppress laughter._

**Ken** : Even though it is designed for people with narcolepsy and cataplexy, it can also be used by anyone prone to suddenly collapsing, such as people with epilepsy.

_Ken and Bryan look expectantly at the Dragons. However, other than James and Theo, none of them look impressed. Duncan sighs._

**Duncan** : You surely know that these things already exist?

**Bryan** : What?

**Peter** : They’re all over sites like Amazon and E-bay.

_Ken and Bryan now have massive sweat patches on their shirts._

**Bryan** : But, but...

**Duncan** : Shut up! Are you two really so stupid that you wouldn’t do _any_ market research before you make a product? I’m out.

**Evan** : _(V/O) Duncan has found a fatal flaw in Ken and Bryan’s invention. What will the other Dragons think?_

**Peter** : Duncan’s right. You’re idea is actually much better than what you usually do, but, of course, it is a completely pointless invention. And, I still hate you, so I’m out.

**Theo** : I like that you are trying to helping people with disabilities. But you really are bloody thick sods to have not done any research, so I’m out, innit.

_The Grumpy Woman simply glares at Ken and Bryan._

**Grumpy Woman** : I’m out.

**Evan** : _(V/O) It’s all down to James._

**James** : I have nothing against your invention, but it’s already been invented. I know I’m the lovely one, but I’m afraid that I have to say that I’m out too.

_Downstairs with Evan, Ken and Bryan look irritated. Bryan is still wearing the headgear. Evan is smiling when he looks at Ken, but he seems to be pulling an almost jealous face when he looks at Bryan._

**Evan** : So, guys, the Dragons didn’t really go for your idea, did they?

**Bryan** : ( _Snappily_ ) No, they didn’t.

_Evan crosses his eyes and smiles oddly at Ken._

**Evan** : I thought it was very nice of you to look after Bryan when he collapsed, you know.

**Ken** : Th-Thank you.

**Evan** : You’re a very nice person.

_Ken has gone red, and is sweating again. Bryan sighs and folds his arms across his chest._

**Ken** : Thanks. You’re nice too.

_Bryan glares at Evan and grabs Ken’s arm._

**Bryan** : I’m afraid he’s taken. Come on, Ken.

_Bryan drags Ken off screen. Evan stares at them as they go, looking sad as he crosses his eyes again._


End file.
